man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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