you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
