margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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