Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
