problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
