i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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