i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
