get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
