Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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