Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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