sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
