i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
