how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
