finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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