Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
