xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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