How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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