Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
