I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
