Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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