we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
