I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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