While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
