We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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