Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
