I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
