We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
