As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
