you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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