Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
