It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
