Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
