Swine flu. Run for my life!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
