I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
that's an acceptable place to lick
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize