1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
