Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
