I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I want to walk on stilts...naked
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
