hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
