he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
