Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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