4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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