Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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