its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
