Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
