stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize