that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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