Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
