yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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