Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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