But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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