Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
