Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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