My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
