So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
