All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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