i just wanna soil my oats bro
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
