The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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