return my video game
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
