people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
