'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm both gender and math confused
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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