I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
