I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize