you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
