Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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