btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
