i just google imaged poop.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
