OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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