tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize